Sunday 6 January 2008

SOUTH TYNESIDE COUNCIL ENTERS “GAMES” MARKET

South Tyneside Council today announced that it had set up an ALMO company (Any Lawful Money Operation) to produce and market a series of kid’s board games.

Lord Wadsworth, game maker, told a packed Minchellas;

“South Tyneside Council has a proven track record in political intrigue, bizarre characters and hilarious situations. We have decided to combine these assets into a series of board games designed for all the family. All funds raised will be used to send deprived councillors on recuperation trips to America, Europe and Otterburn Hall”

A press release outlined the following games that will be soon available for purchase at all good chip shops, tea rooms and Roxanne’s:

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
A hilarious game where one player does an impression of a councillor while the others have to guess who it is. Comes with self assembly night club, bouncer, 15 pints of lager and free membership to the Conservative Party.

“MONOPOLY”
A square board game whereby individual areas are named after Borough Wards. The aim is to win as many wards as possible without loosing any ballot boxes, then build high cost PFI houses and hotels on any green belt land.

“BABBLE”
Based on Scrabble, but the only words that can be used are those uttered at Council meetings i.e. wake me up at the end, where’s the tea, where am I and “who is Brenda?”

“FRUSTRATION”
Only for sale to Independent Councillors and their supporters. The aim is to over turn ludicrous Labour Councillor decisions.

“HIDE AND SEEK”
Teams of two people either dress up as a badger or tea lady and people have to guess who really is behind the disguise. Comes with free police visit and libel case.

“MASTERMIND”
Councillor version: all the pegs are the same colour.

“FLOG IT”
Based on the TV programme of the same name, but instead of antiques, players sell large swathes of land for as little money as possible. Free Audit enquiry with first 100 editions.

(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO PROMOTE YOUR OWN GAMES IN THE COMMENTS SECTION)

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