Gordon Brown, speaking from his sick bed in the House of Commons, today announced a new NHS contract between the government and the sick people who voted for the Labour Party at the last election.
The codicils of the contract are as follows
1. People must promise never to be poorly.
2. Those who become poorly, but have unlimited BUPA cover, will receive full NHS service.
3. Those who lie about number 1, and have no coverage per number 2, will receive treatment from the following NHS approved doctors;
- Doctor Who
- Doctor Crippen
- Doctor Shipman (DECD)
- Doctor Foster (Gloucester area only)
- Doctor Doolittle
- Doctor Martin (feet only)
- Doctor Witch
- Doctor and the Medics
(That’s enough Doctors – we can’t pay them all – G. Brown)