A great receptacle of wit and an under used source of information for us bloggers are “Parliamentary Sketches” Most papers have them, and they are nearly always used to raise the days Parliamentary procedures above the level of banality. Mathew Parris is perhaps the best at his game, combining acid wit with acrid truth.
However, running him a close second is Ann Treneman, sketch writer at the Times. In today’s edition she knocks about James Parnell, Culture Secretary and deliverer of the bad news to the Commons that the Olympics have another £1 billion black hole. On Parnell’s conduct she states “Mr Parnell won the vote but little else”.
It is her description however, of Michael Fabricant MP, a man with a spies name if ever there was one (the names Fabricant, Michael Fabricant) that raised a wry smile.
“Up popped Michael Fabricant, the Tory who is famous for his golden locks and who is currently wearing a rather fetching winter wig”
What a marvellous picture, backed up with the additional information that wigs now come in seasonal varieties.
Fabricant also gave us a corker. Complete with a winter warmer perched perilously on his bonnet, he launched into a classic Tory boy, Colonel Smithson –hyphen- Smythes hyperbole on the matter of Lottery cuts funding the Olympics.
“There are already swinging cuts in the arts. Litchfield Garrick Theatre is no longer going to receive its funding. The Birmingham Rep isn’t going to either. This is being replicated all around the world”.
Poor old double “o” Fabricant and the poor old Garrick! No mention of course of the boxing clubs, urban community initiatives, community centres etc, all of which keep young people out of trouble and of the streets. All these organisations are also loosing their funding and due to King Kens use of a dodgy estate agent, http://thenorthernherald.blogspot.com/2008/01/black-hole-found-in-london.html the sale value of land and property after the Olympics is now drastically reduced resulting in the National Lottery not being repaid its “loans”.
Never mind, thanks to Ann Treneman, at least we know that the “Whig” party is up and running again!