The Three Wisemen are to take legal action following claims that they were “not at the birth of Christ”. At a press conference called by Max Clifford (the Wisemen’s publicist), the Kings issued the following statement:
"To say we were not at the scene of the birth of Christ is ludicrous. We have Argo’s receipts showing the purchase of gold, frankincense and myrrh on their “buy now, pay in 8 months” option. These receipts clearly place us all at the scene. We also have a legal document from the Bethlehem Maternity Hospital showing that Mary wanted a home birth and we three Kings of Orient are named as official birth partners”
Inspector McBribe, head of the Missing Bible Character Squad would not confirm the presence of the Wisemen at the scene, but his officers were checking CCTV footage and that DNA tests were progressing.
An ox, an ass and a star were also considering legal action.
In a series of unrelated incidents, Lazarus was forced to deny that he had actually just been “asleep”, and Moses passed scorn on the rumour that the 10 Commandments had been purchased second hand on EBay.