A man today walked into the Houses of Commons and claimed to have “no memory” or recollections since 1997. Mr Gordon Brown, clearly dumfounded and out of touch with reality, said he had no knowledge of pledges, manifesto commitments, party donations or accountability in general. In a separate incident, the media reported a man missing. David Miliband has not been seen by the public for a number of weeks and may be confused as to the nature of his job. He is not thought to possess a canoe, but is also expected to re appear soon with no memory of certain events.
Here is a police list of other suspects who have no memory of what they have been upto over the last few years:
1. Steve McClaren
2. The entire Newcastle United management roster since Kevin Keegan (excluding Bobbie Robson who did not have a canoe)
3. Boris Johnson
4. The Daily Sport
5. Pottsy Panns