Sunday, 16 December 2007


Page 3 of today’s “Sunday Sun” doesn’t contain what you would expect with the headline “Girlz in the Hood”. Centred on a new fashion craze which may draw David Cameron’s attention, the “Hood” in question relates to a new attachment to the average urban gear. Resembling something from an anthrax infected area or army nuclear warfare site, the “Goggle Jacket” has been branded a yobs uniform by many. And guess what, it has sold very well in South Tyneside.

However, Northumberland Police have been quoted as saying “we don’t believe this new garment will pose any serious problems”. Why? Because in the cold weather people could always wear a hooded top or balaclava.

Not one to contradict the police, but I have a different view to outline. Whilst reading this text, a family friend of mine who has connections with the “less than normal” element of society who come out of jail on licence offered the following oberservations:

1. The Goggle Hood is ideal for rapists.
You can’t pull down a Goggle Hood to reveal a rapist. You can with a balaclava or mask.
2. The Goggle Hood is ideal for rapists.
You can’t scratch his face and obtain valuable DNA evidence.
3. The Goggle Hood is an ideal way to commit any crime.
It obscures any facial features which would help the police or public identify any criminal.
4. The Goggle Hood is ideal for Paedophiles.
It obscures their age, identity and intentions.

Sold in South Tyneside, the criminals dream. Costing only £70, the price will drop as more and more manufactures move into the market for the “Goggle Hood”.

Forget CCTV in the above instances, they won’t be worth the installation costs!

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