Sunday 25 November 2007

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE

In an attempt to counter criticism over the Gypsies Green development plans, South Tyneside Council today announced that it was to build a new leisure facility on the coast. Costing £1 million in consultancy fees alone, the project will include a swimming pool and play area.

Councillor Jim C Swell, Chair of the Culture and Well Being Committee, when interviewed by The Northern Herald said:

“This Council has an excellent track record when it comes to consultancy fees. Rather than ask the public what they would want, we have decided to pay somebody else to tell them what they want. A brief has been handed over to the firm involved, stating that the Council needs a facility which includes a vast area of water so that people can swim and dip their feet in at the edge. We also need somewhere for children to play, so a large sand pit would also be desirable.”

When it was pointed out that this was in fact the existing sea and sand, the Councillor mumbled something about “oh no, we’ve been rumbled” and was last seen running towards the Town Hall.

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