A South Tyneside press release today confirmed what many of us already suspected. Outlining a series of unfortunate events, Council executives confirmed that they have lost the “trust of the electorate”.
Quotating direct from the release:
“Shortly after the May elections the Council managed to happily, sorry, sadly, misplace the “trust” which the electorate place in the democratic process. The “trust” was placed in a corridor for pinching, sorry, safe keeping, over night, but when returning in the morning Council officials found that it had been hidden, sorry, disappeared. We have no idea where the “trust” has gone, and frankly, don’t care, sorry, are devastated. It has long been held that during election periods this Council is the custodian for the democratic process and the trust which the public place in us. We would like to apologise for this false impression and are happy to set the record straight.”
Inspector McBribe of the Serious Bungling and Inept Council Squad has been called in to investigate the matter. He has already restricted access to the corridor in question, and brought in mechanical diggers, x-ray equipment and sniffer dogs. However, due to the length of the period the Council kept the information from the public, any results are expected to be limited.
“The chances of finding the ballot boxes are very small. After all, the Council has had 6 months start on my officers. There are also financial implications; the use of specialist equipment is very expensive. However, the Council have made it clear they would like Mr Khan to pay for their incompetence.”