Tuesday 27 November 2007

IM SORRY I HAVENT A CLUE

With cut backs not only planned in TV production, the BBC also intends to take its scythe to radio output. Hopefully Radio Four’s comedy output will be spared. With a long and well proven record of giving rise to some well known TV spin offs (Alan partridge, Little Britain and The League of Gentleman being good examples) the station has served it’s more visual cousin very well over the years. One of my favourite productions however, is “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue”, which has a better pedigree than a Crufts champion.

Chaired by Humphrey Lyttelton, the panel game is a classic of political and cultural satire. Looking at its web site last night, I came across some classic Lyttelton closing programme comments, something he is famous for.

Enjoy.

Well, they do say that time flies when you're having fun, and to prove it I notice my sundial has stopped...
Windsor28 May 1994


Well, with Mickey Mouse's big hand pointing upwards and Goofy's tail pointing downwards, I realise my Rolex is a fake...
02 Jul 1994


Well, a quick glance at the time tells me that it's fast coming up to eighty-one hundred hours, which means, of course, that I've put my digital watch on upside-down again...
Bath05 Nov 1994



Ladies and gentlemen, one glance at my diver's watch tells me that he's probably drowned...
Bath12 Nov 1994


Well, as the burnished chariot of fate is wheeled-clamped by the traffic warden of eternity...
West End26 Nov 1994



...and so, as we rapidly approach the bus stop of the Apocalypse, I notice that the Four Horsemen have all come along at the same time...
Chester03 Dec 1994



...and so, as I notice the eternal flame of hope has just been put out by the fire officer of destiny with the sand bucket of fate...
Brighton27 May 1995



...and so, as the Rock of Ages is cleft in twain by the karate chop of fate, I notice it has 'Souvenir of Watford' written all the way through it...
Watford10 Jun 1995


...and so, as the frisky tom-cat of fate confronts the scalpel of destiny, and the precious natural woodland of time meets the motorway extension of eternity...
ISIHAC 3, Side 2



...and so, as time's winged chariot hurries us off the airwaves, my mind turns to metaphysical thoughts, and the words of the great John Dunn - "That's all for now. Join me at the same time tomorrow here on Radio 2"...
Hackney11 Nov 1995



...and so, as the labrador puppy of time scampers off with the toilet roll of destiny, it's time to bid the whining little child of show-business adieu once more...
Hackney18 Nov 1995



...and so, as the still-warm seat of eternity is lifted by the charlady of time, before she brandishes aloft the Toilet Duck of destiny...
Stratford-Upon- Avon09 Dec 1995



...and so, as the delicate mayfly of time collides with the speeding windscreen of fate, and the angry wasp of destiny flies up the trouser leg of despair...
ISIHAC 4, Side 1



...and so, as the twin buttocks of time struggle onto the photocopier of eternity, and the tipsy secretary of fate fends off the managing director of destiny...
1996 Xmas Special25 Dec 1996



...and so, as Grandfather Time takes an absent-minded swig from Granny Time's denture mug...
Brighton30 Jun 1997



http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/clue.shtml
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/a490349
http://www.isihac.co.uk/

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