The political world is holding its breath today as Councillor Pottsy Panns has been asked to clarify or withdraw a series of ridiculous claims he made in a letter sent to the Shields Gazette. Central to the letter were the following ludicrous assertions;
1. The Earth ifs flat.
2. The Moon is made of cheese
3. 84% of statistics are made up on the spot
4. An Elvis statue has been found on Mars
5. Cadburys Cream Eggs are not getting smaller
Panns, an intrepid political explorer, has in the past led expeditions to Falkirk and Kirkcaldy. His next travels involve an expedition to Scotland in search of the “Loch Ness Badger”.