ITCHING OUTBREAK

Police Chief Inspector McBribe has been asked to investigate a serious outbreak of “itching” at a recent full Council meeting. Several Councillors were seen publicly squirming after members of the public and Independent Councillors fielded a series of embarrassing questions at this weeks meeting. McBribe in a statement to The Northern Herald said

“We have had reports that somebody has been placing itching powder in the pants of many local Councillors while their backs are turned. These has caused them to squirm and looking distressed when difficult questions are asked of them. “

Health officials were also aware that there had been a consecutive outbreak of the “staring at feet syndrome”, whereby when faced with difficult questions, Councillors heads fall and they stare at their shoe laces, or in this case of Paul Waggot, his slip on’s (laces are difficult you know). Tablets have been prescribed, with long periods of rest between meetings.