NUMBER CRUNCHING

Northern Rock could do worse than have a word with Sir Richard Mottram, a retiring government civil servant. Sir Dickey came to prominence in 2001 during the Jo Moore “good day to bury bad news” scandal. When faced with Moore’s intentions, Mottram was heard to cry “Were all f****d, I’m f****d, you’re f****d, the whole department is f****d. It’s the biggest cock up ever. Were all completely f****d”. Not to be confused with a similar onslaught which was heard coming from John Prescott’s office (think about it) the civil servants considered opinion has entered office folk lore.

It’s not Mottram’s use of the English vernacular which is astounding, but his pension settlement which has just been outlined in newly released accounts. Already in receipt of a £225,000 a year salary, 61 year old Richard will receive a lump sum of £335,000 followed by an annual payment of £110,000. His retirement package has been calculated to be worth £2.6 million. Not bad for a man who said “f**k” a lot!

Not to be outdone in the number crunching steaks, Sir Ian Blair, (reportedly) head of the Metropolitan Police, has been awarded a £25,000 performance bonus. Currently in the dock over the de Menezes shooting and all ready presiding over the biggest increase in gun related crime the capital has ever scene, this tidy little bonus will top up Blair’s yearly pay cheque of £228,000, and add no doubt a few pennies to his pension fund.

When postal workers, NHS staff, gas workers and millions of other both private and public sector employees are faced with pension erosions, you would think the mandarins at the top would have the decency to use a little bit restraint.

As Sir Richard would have said “What a bunch of greedy f*****s”