Friday, 26 October 2007



MP’s from all political parties have received letters in the post from the Department of Health expressing worries about their “over weight” bank accounts. Ms Frankie Benny sated that “for some time the government has been concerned about MP’s expense claims and that their accounts are becoming obese.. The amounts of money that is being consumed is dreadful and very unhealthy for democracy”. Asked whether she had any long term solutions to this issue, Ms Benny said that she planned to implement the following policies;

MP’s holidays would be increased to 90 days thereby allowing them to have more time to spend lots of money and reduce the size of their balances.
Special home help classes would be instigated at constituency level, educating MP’s on how to buy the best caviar, champagne and fur coats.
MP’s would be encouraged to half the weight of their expense accounts by opening another one and splitting the money between the two.

Some MP’s were quick to defend the size of their balances. John Prescott, who will be retiring at the next election in order to spend more time in the Chinese takeaway, said “Being an MP is a very hungry affair and the only way to satisfy this greed and is to fill your pockets to the brim. That’s why we all look fat, were chocker block full of cash”.

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