Friday, 19 October 2007


In order to reduce a serious budget deficit, the BBC this week sacked every body it employs. All programmes would be outsourced to China and India, and any money saved would be given to Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton. It was also decided to sell certain assets, including Jeremy Paxman and John Simpson, to the Russians for medical research. Under pressure from the Liberals, the CBBC channel would be retained, but put out to tender.

The new viewing schedule is as follows:

7.00 am – 9.00 am ~Chinese News Daily
9.00 am ~ 12.00 pm ~ Chairman Mo, Friend or Foe
12.00 pm ~ 7.00 pm ~ Indian Call Centre Highlights ~ When Calls Go Wrong
7.00 pm ~ 9.00 pm ~ Graham Norton Swearathon ~ lines already closed but keep calling in
9.00 pm to close ~ Jonathon Ross attempts to pronounce the letter “R”.

“Dads Army” will be renamed “Terracotta Army”, Victor Meldrew will star in “One Foot in the Yangtze” and Eastenders will re replaced by Far East-enders. BBC 2’s schedule will be revamped to include “Ready Steady Wok” and “Doctor Woo”.

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