Friday, 26 October 2007


Labour Health Secretary Alan Johnson has today announced that from July 2007 “fat people” would not be allowed in public areas. In a statement printed on low fat Weight Watchers paper, the minister outlined his plans:

“This government is determined to clamp down on hazardous eating. Therefore from July onwards pubs, government buildings, bus shelters, shops and other public areas will be out of bounds for fat people. Special shelters will have to be built outside of offices. Councils will be employing special officers who will ensure that pub landlords etc do not flout the new laws. They will be equipped with scales, tape measures and Nimble bread. Anybody caught breaking the rules will be fined either a weeks hamburgers and chips or £250, that’s pounds in money, not weight.”

Mr Johnson, who is 2 foot 6 inches tall, weighs 45st 8lbs.

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